Friday, September 26, 2014

New Life

And so it begins, the story of my new life. It's going to be tough to write, for it will bring back emotions and thoughts I have already banished from my mind.

My last real post I wrote back in February was basically when it all began. In that post I explained how I lost my job at the bar I worked due to it being shut down, and how I got a new job at a very popular restaurant/bar right across the beach in Waikiki. I never imagined myself making as good of friends as I did while I was there. And it definitely changed my life.

I quickly became good friends with a couple of the girls I worked with and it helped me to clear my mind about a lot of things going on in my life. Mike and I's relationship seemed fine on the outside, but on the inside, I was struggling. I felt we had come to a dead end, and sure, I may be judged for giving up and not trying anymore, but I felt that we were never on the same page in regards to future plans. I couldn't do it anymore. I just couldn't force myself to be in that kind of atmosphere anymore. I love Mike to death, and still do, he's a really great guy, but I came to the realization that God put him in my life to teach me a lesson, not to be my lifetime partner. From my Love Story posts, I explained how he was my savior. He helped me grow so much as an individual and helped me learn many things about myself and the world that I don't think I could've learned without him. (and here come the tears) With that being said, the moment I knew it was time to leave was when I visited my good friend (and now roommate) Lorena in her hometown of Lodi, CA. I was there for a week and it was a blast. While I was gone, Mike had taken a surf trip to Costa Rica. We barely talked the whole time and I realized I was ok without him. I may sound heartless, but like I said, I can't help the way I feel.

During my trip to visit Lorena, she took me all over the Bay Area. I have never been to this part of California, and was super excited to experience it all. It's such a beautiful area and it really opened my eyes to what else is out there for me. It was time to leave Hawaii and try something new. I had been struggling with wanting to leave for quite a long time, but always stayed to be with Mike. Now that I realized where my life was heading, I took the step I needed to take, and changed my life, for me. I got back from my trip to California, and broke the news to Mike, I was leaving. My mind was made up and I wasn't turning back. I'd never know how strong I am if I didn't follow through with this plan. He was blindsided.

Of course it was hard for me. Four years of being with someone you love is really hard to leave. But I had to do it, and in the end, I think it will be what's best for both of us. I miss him and our adventures together dearly, but I am extremely grateful for the opportunity to be on my own completely to prove to myself I am independent in every aspect. My heart was yearning for this, it's really hard to explain.

Lorena and I made plans to move to Santa Cruz together. She was starting school in the fall and I had nothing holding me back in Hawaii so I decided to join her on a new journey. Things haven't exactly gone as planned, but I'll get to that later.

On a lighter note, here are some pictures from my trip in May when she took me around the Bay Area.

**Disclaimer: All photos are taken my ME with an Iphone4 or Nikon CoolPix L120. Please do not copy, crop, or use as your own.**

I arrived on a Monday night. Tuesday, we decided to go kayaking the river by her house..


That night, Lorena, her sister Alyse, and I went to see a movie. It was a great start to my busy vacation.

Wednesday, the girls took me to San Francisco. My first time ever going to the city and I loved it! We met up with a couple other girls we worked with at Tiki's who were in the area and had a great girls day shopping and walking around the beautiful city. The took me to Union Square, Haight and Ashbury, and Pier 39.

L-R: Kelly, Stephanie, Alyse, and Lorena

Cutestttt houses! Lorena, Alyse, and Kelly

L-R: Kelly, Me, and Lorena

Sunset at Pier 39 before an amazing dinner. L-R: Lorena, Alyse, Me, and Kelly

Stopped in for a milkshake!

Drove down the Golden Gate Bridge at night.

Thursday, we ventured out to Napa Valley. Alyse is dating the son of Sutter Home Wines, so we had a blast!

My first wine tasting ever!

Alyse was a doll and drove us around the whole time so we could taste as many wines as we wanted!

Beautiful vineyards everywhere!

Got the hook up at Napa Cellars thanks to Alyse and her winery boy :) 

This winery had been brought to Napa Valley all the way from Italy. I felt like I had died and gone to Game of Thrones heaven!

We stopped in St. Helena for dinner and brought one of the wines we bought from Napa Cellars. We had a great time and I absolutely loved the experience!

Friday we drove all the way to South Lake Tahoe with Stephanie (one of the girls from SF pics) and her boyfriend Paul. Apparently it was ladies night at one of the casinos there so we were looking for a good time. Plus, I was really looking forward to seeing beautiful Lake Tahoe.

 As soon as we made it into Tahoe. L-R: Me, Stephanie, and Lorena

Our first stop, of course was to get mimosas while over-looking the beautiful lake.

It was absolutely beautiful and there was still snow on the mountains.

We did a little hike to get a better view. L-R: Me, Lorena, Stephanie, and Steph's sister.

Saturday we headed back to Lodi from Lake Tahoe in time to catch the ZinFest that was going on. For a small ticket fee, we got to taste over 100 different booths of wine and even got a free wine glass. We only had about an hour left of the festival by the time we got there, so we downed some wine like there was no tomorrow. After it was over, Alyse wanted us to come with her to Chico, CA to visit her boyfriend and hop around the bars.

That night was a doozy. While Lorena and I were coming back from drunkenly getting some amazing burritos, we came across Alyse's car window had been bashed and all of my stuff that was in the front seat was stolen. $500 worth of makeup and makeup brushes, a pair of shorts, and a Michael Kors sunglasses case had been jacked. I was really bumming about my makeup (LOL) so Lorena and I decided to get a case of beer and a fifth of Fireball to ease the pain :P

 This about sums up that night. The only picture I managed to get, oh and I had to wear the same outfit for like 3 days because of that robbery :(

Sunday we decided to take a drive down to Santa Cruz to check out the place and let me see how it was. We stopped at a bar in Capitola and had a couple bottles of wine and some dinner before making our way back to Lodi. It was such an amazing trip, and definitely life changing. I had such a blast!

I think I got a lot out that I needed to. It has felt good to write all this down and get it out of my system. A lot has happened and still happening. I have so much more to talk about from my last two and a half months living in Hawaii. It was so fun living out there in a different light, carefree, just doing me. My parents even came out to visit before I left. It was amazing.

One thing I want to know, should I start Saturday Style again?

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Stories of Kel said...

Wait are you in Santa Cruz or Monterey?

It sounds like coming out to CA was really good for you. Leaving relationships is hard but it sounds like you did what was best for both of you!

Ashley McCardia said...

I'm so excited for your new adventure! And even more excited you're back in blogland. Also, i vote yes on SS!

V. Nino said...

Welcome back, lady! And congratulations on being so courageous and following your inner compass even though doing so can be tough. Some women live their whole lives too frightened to do what you did!

Melissa said...

I was wondering what brought you to California...I'm glad that you had a great trip and that it lead to a new, exciting chapter in your life!! Can't wait to hear more!!

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