Friday, August 2, 2013

Who Says You Have to Grow Up?

Growing up.

Who is the one who made the rule of thumb about growing up? When are you "officially" a grown up? When you have to pay bills? I have been doing that since I was a teenager. When you go to college? Dropped out... When you move out of your parents house? Been there done that.

It seems like now-a-days, every time I sign into Facebook or Instagram or whatever social media network at the time, I am constantly seeing engagement photos/statuses, wedding albums, or baby pictures. And these are my peers. Have we really reached the age to be doing all of these life events? Where the heck has the time gone?

I feel like I've already talked about this subject. Honestly, I find it hard sometimes to deal with all of these life changing events for people I went to high school with, that are the same age as me. Sometimes it's hard to not feel like my life has gone stagnant and I'll never end up getting married or having a family of my own.

It's funny, I can remember saying as I was graduating high school, "I want to be married by the time I'm 23, so I can start having kids around 26." Well.... 23 has come and gone and I am well on my way to turning 25. Not saying I regret not following that path, it just hasn't happened for me. I have taken a completely different path that I would've never imagined happening to me if I was still 18.

Even blogging has gotten me down at times. Most of the blogs I read are of married couples and some even have kids. I know it shouldn't make me feel low, but sometimes I can't help it. It's easy to feel anxiety of not being up to par with the rest of my peers.

With all of that said, in NO WAY does that mean I want to be married or have kids right now in my life. Taking the path I have has been really great for me. It has taught me about who I am and what I want in life, and yes, marriage and family is one of them, but it has also taught me that I am too selfish right now to follow those guidelines and you know what? That's perfectly ok.

When I think about it, I honestly don't know why I get sad sometimes. I am living my own journey. While my peers are starting their lives with marriage and babies, I'm starting my life with traveling and adventure. It's ok to be different, to not follow suit with the crowd you were once apart of. It's ok to not be in the norm and do things the way you want to. I am blessed by the opportunities and experiences I have already been through and I hope I get a million more. It will only make those moments in my life that much sweeter when they do decide to come around.

I've always been one to fantasize about a wedding and having children. It's just the way I am, a dreamer. But I need to continue to remind myself that it will all come in time, when my journey is ready for it. I am attending a friend's wedding for the first time in January and I could not be more excited for her and the life she is starting, Marrying young is for a lot of people, but I want to enjoy different life changing experiences first. And that is the path I intend to take.

Do you ever feel the same way?

On a different note, my good bloggy friend Kelly is celebrating her blog turning 1! What better way to celebrate than with a giveaway, and I have something up for grabs!

Hi everyone,  thank you so much for coming to my birthday party! Today Sparkles and Shoes is 1 year old - I can not believe it! I still remember last summer how long and hard I pondered over choosing a blog name, deciding what to write about, and wondering if anyone besides my mom would read it - now here we are, a year later. None of this could have happened without the support of all of you, so thank you to my readers and everyone else who has supported Sparkles and Shoes! To help me celebrate I have partnered up with a great group of girls for a giveaway in honor of my birthday with hundreds in ad space, hundreds in gift cards, and half a dozen other fantastic prizes.

This giveaway is international, so enter away! 

**Click on the link above to see the original post including all of the prizes!**

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Whitney said...

I'm married but have no kids. Most people I graduated with have 2 or 3. That's perfectly fine, because I have never had baby fever... Definitely not ready for babies.. Maybe in five or ten years

10000squats said...

I totally understand how you feel about life changing events. 2013 has been pretty crazy for me too! Love your blog! -Samantha

Alexys Gonzales said...

I am totally happy to hear this! I feel left behind at age 21 with all my friends getting engaged and some even getting pregnant... planned pregnancies!

I have been trying to calm myself down and live my life the way I want... but without a timetable.

Cece said...

I totally get it! I don't even want kids but somehow I manage to feel left out or left behind just because everyone else is. When we compare ourselves it so dooms us to 2nd guessing ourselves but it's so hard not to.

Megan said...

Social media and blogging make it so easy for us to compare ourselves to others. I think it's something we all struggle with at some point to some degree.

I always try to remember that there is no "right" way to live our life. Life also doesn't usually go according to plan. I try to focus more on living my life and making each day count.

Lisa said...

I remember once thinking 25 was a great age to have kids. That birthday is next month, and I am not coming down with baby fever.

Robin said...

It's ridiculous when people make us feel like things "should" be done at a certain age. We all have different lives. A number of years doesn't guarantee security or happiness. I got married at 22...that is just how my life turned out. I didn't ask to meet my husband at that age. Other women meet their husbands at age 30 or older, and they didn't ask for that.

Some couples date for a year (or, in our case, 7 months) before getting married , some date for 10 years. That's what works for them. Just be happy with your boyfriend and your life...anyone who tells you what you "should" be doing obviously isn't happy with their own life, or else they would be minding their own business!

Meredith @ The Laundry Can Wait said...

Hey girlie,
Just wanted to applause your positive spirit about celebrating YOUR journey. FB and blogging are great, but I think they also have a way of making people compare and think about "shortcomings" in their life - even though they're not shortcomings at all! Things happen at an appointed time for everyone. My time isn't someone else's, and so forth. Everything you want out of life will happen, friend. You have a great head on your shoulders.


P.S. I'm one of your married with children readers, too. ;)

leelee said...

When my friends first started to settle down, it really really bothered me. Now I have gotten to the point where I am done comparing my life to others.

However as much as I do want to marry and have kids someday, I absolutely love the life I have now.

Becky Dougherty said...

It seems like most plans we have for ourselves do not go the way we want. And that's not always a bad thing! I was sure that I would get married right out of college. But I didn't get married until I was 28. Scott and I still don't have kids (for many reasons), but I know that I really don't want kids right now. I'm still selfish in that way! I like sleeping or lounging all day if I want or going out on the motorcycle with Scott or taking off for a get away without worrying about child care.

You said it yourself. It's ok to be different. It's your life! :)

Jackie said...

I always have issues with this because I am about to be 29 and my life is COMPLETELY different than I imagined at 18. I wanted to be married and on my way to kids by 25. Well, 25 came and went (as did a crappy relationship) and then I said "by 30 I'll be married and with one child or a child on the way"...yeaaaaah, that doesn't seem like it will be happening either. (Considering I am VERY single right now...with no prospects on the horizon). So it's incredibly tough for me. Especially when their are people younger than me who seem to be getting married and having babies...But..I am trying to be way more positive about it.

Kelly {Sparkles and Shoes} said...

I turn 23 next month and I would have thought, graduating high school, I would have a ring on my finger by now! In other news, thanks for sharing my bday giveaway!

Sparkles and Shoes